Pre-Kindergarden Sex Appeal

4 Aug

My cousins name is Emoney. We pronounce it Amani, which coincodently is Swahili for Faith.But if her mother had it her way, she would be E-Money, as was intended.But with her mother out of the picture, she is in her grandmother, my aunts, care. And my white, jewish side of the family unanimously agreed: swahili over ebonics.

I know that my aunt, who is nearly 60 and has 4 adult children of her own, is doing her best raise Emoney on her own. But once in a while, I see a lapse injudegement and it makes my hair curl…ever curlier. Because I’m that angry.

For example, a few days ago some of the extended family came over for dinner.
The cast of characters at the table:
Grandma-who fell asleep at the table
Aunt Carol- who ( also) fell asleep at the table
Aunt Laura- managed to keep concious through dessert; Emoney’s actual grandma but adopted parent
Dad, Mom, Myself, and,
Emoney- my 4 year old beautifulllllll lil black cuz. WHO WAS WEARING MAKEUP!!!!

She is 4 years old, America.That means pre-Kindergarden, pre-fine motor skills, and absolutly prepubescent.Albeit, she is girly, always doning pink and bratz doll in hand. I know kids are growing up faster these days, but SHIT, when did it become acceptable for a 4 YEAR OLD TO WEAR EYESHADOW AND LIPSTICK??

I don’t know which is worse: this makeup fiasco, or last year when she barley touched her food and when asked why she said, “eating makes you fat.” Maybe I’m wrong thinking this is horrific, maybe she’s just cut out for great things, like starting Todlers Against Obesity.

If I’m lucky, she just won’t be deflowered by the time she’s 5.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: