mental age/chronological age x 100 = IQ

22 Nov

The day is over.


I am Thankful that this day is over.

I am a mess. But a smiling mess. I want to scream but it comes out as a laugh, and i want to articulate a thought but it comes out scambled. I’m hyper and tired. I’m going fucking insane. The first half of my day was spent in the Hospice, which by the way are much more peaceful than hospitals. I think i’d want to die in a hospice too…except that i’d want to die doing something really cool and outrageous, like go out in some epic teacher-on-the-spaceship-style. Whatever, hopefully that’s not something i have to deal with for a long, long time… but spending thanksgiving watching my grandma cuddle with death more closely with every breath has just been one hell of an emotional and intelletucal rollar coster. It’s bizarre to see the Matriarch of my family cycle back to the helplessness of an infant, curled up in fetal position, unable to speak or, well, do anything really. I’m glad I emergency flew home so i could get in some last words and quality time with her. Funny story. My Aunt, who is now a ‘Jew for Jesus’, rolled my grandma in to a christian service today when my dad left…my grandma is jewish, like jewish-jewish…and the hearing is the last thing to go…so some of the final words on this earth she will have heard are about Jesus. I think it’s kinda funny and ironic.

So one may assume that leaving the hospice would have been somewhat relaxing and relieving…wrong, dead wrong. One would obviously not be familiar with my extended family. Where to begin, so much material…Mmm, let me put it like this: we are one, big, handicapped family. There were 10 people, including myself, at our house for dinner. Of those 10, 2 are young people in wheelchairs, 1 is deaf, 2 are morbidly obeese, 2 have serious mental disorders, 6 are on welfare, and we have 3 races and a handful of religions represented. And we are all related. Like aunts,uncle,cousins, immidiate family related. None of us fit in with eachother, and in that way we all fit in as a cohesive group of outsiders who are related… i guess that’s the beauty of it. And in a very selfish way, having so much controversy in one family has made it really hard for me to judge anyone for anything, like..anything. We’re all people. I’m not saying i promote those behaviors, but they are behaviors, not definitions of people.

So Yeah, I’m fucking happy this day is over. Because i get to wake up and do it all again tomorrow. Back to the hospice. happy thanksgiving.


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