Blinded बी थे LIght

2 Jan

“And she was blinded by the light
Cut loose like a deuce another runner in the night
Blinded by the light”
– Bruce Springstein

It’s like Springstein himself was there with me at the New Years eve rave last night. Except if he had said that, I wouldn’t have heard him. I was also Deafened by the Sound. I don’t really know how to put that empty-steel-warehouse turned multi-media presentation on crack into words. The atmosphere was surreal, literally, it had the disorienting, hallucinatory quality of a dream.The music.A maze of rooms each Dj’ed to it’s own beat which seizured the body like recharging an old batery. The strangers. The liberation of anonymity, the unspoken bond that came from that with other people who felt the same way. The colors. Rainbow lazers, disco balls, and projected screens fitting graphics to the music. The smells. Weed, sweat, and crisp oregon air drifting inside. Oregon in a box. Mesmerizing, entrancing lost in a parrallel universe of unfilted color and vibration. The best option, the compulsion, the only option really is all the same: Dance. And Dance we did. But it’s a different kind of dance than Akon or Soulja Boy demand. You feel the music then, but you don’t lose yourself in it. At least I’m fully concious of my movement and the presence/engagement of people around me at dance parties. But at the rave, we just let go. It was almost spiritual ya know, just dancing away any bitterness from 2007 and ushering in the new year through extascy. Not the drug, the emotion. It was great, a random and great adventure. I liked starting the new year off with a new experiance.

How I got to the rave was random. I was at a friends party where i thought i was going to be celebrating new years and got propositioned by a buddy: ” I’m leaving, wanna come to a rave. I’m meeting my cousin.” And I did what I’ve been trying to do more frequently–just say Yes. So I did. And who else do i see at the rave, the ONLY person aside from the people i was with who i knew, but my COUSIN! So random, I’ve never seen here outside of a family function in my life and we live in the same city. But there she was, high as fuck, and there i was, high as fuck, and we just looked at eachother and started cracking up. I still can’t believe it. Then she asked me if she could deal my friends drugs.At least she offered a family discount. It seems really peculiar to me that we are cousins, genetically more similar than most people on this earth, and our lives have both gone sterotypically in lines with the parts of town we grew up in. North/NE portland vs SW portland, separated by a river and a whole lot more. I looked at her friends(two cute thugs sellin drugs in the corner of a rave who may or may not have been in gangs.. i saw the colors but not tats)versus my freinds ( an all american boy who attends tulane and looks like he belongs in the Young Republican for Cannibus club and a girl who essentially is not working on being a supermodel although she could because she’s too smart and creative and talented with art and design) and then there was me and my cousin. Kinda in the middle. And really, our freinds aren’t that much different when it comes down to it. Different by label, group affiliation and apperance, but seemingly the same existential angst and love for fun. It was cool.

New years resolution. I used to make 25 and put them in little peices of oragami fold ups in my room, and i actually only did about 5 of them throughout the year. That was in my more ocd days. Now I have one, and i am determined as hell to actually keep it. It’s probably the hardest resolution i’ve ever set myself up again, but if i can do it, it will undoubtably be the most rewarding. We’ll see how tough I am.


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