10 Jan

Today, I earased thousands of paper trails telling hundreds of Oprah caliber tragedies. In 2005, the government decided they needed to keep better track of the poor. Seems like the rich have a little more sway, but whatever, they wanted the poor so they got the poor. Or at least every detail of their paper records avalible to them from the shelter. Thus, I was the Grim Reaper, out with the old records and makeing room for the new. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m a college kid, I live to file. I don’t mean to sound melodramatic, but it was a really strange experiance. I read a lot of the files before shedding them. Saw their names, their handwriting, the downward spiraling plots of their lifes and why they ended up in a DV shelter, psychological history, drug/alcohol history, and ( the most tragic of it all) their children’s bios as well. One resident in her intake was filling out information about her todler son. A photo of the little guy fell out when i opened it up.The little guy was precious, bright eyed and blonde in the cutest Osh Kosh B’Gosh overalls. He looked like a fallen angel. The attached interview with the mother made me gag. ” Did you smoke tabbaco, drink alcohol, or use drugs during your pregnancy?” Yes. ” If yes, please list.” Crack. ” Do you think the prenatal drug and/r alcohol use impacted the child?” No… Reading on, I was in complete disbelief. The kid was a premi-baby, extremely anemic, and exhibited strange social behaviors…moms like that frusterated the hell out of me. Until I turned the page, and read the mom’s history, and then i really had a hard time seeing her as the Evil Jafar figure. And, i could be wrong, but i have a nagging feeling that if i could go back further, I’d find a lot of the same situations in grandmothers and beyond. One case manager described this phenomeneon to me as there’s comfort in what one’s familiar with. Another pointed out, that even in a dv shelter, most women belive that d.v. is not a crime. So there I am, shredding away, earasing decade old files of now-adults who may be living or dead, abused or liberated, maladjusted or matured. I was just wondering, if one decade later after rock bottom, these people were still sturggling with their same baggage or if they’d moved on.
guess ill never know.

In other news ( pun intended), political News Watch:
Clinton scrapes by to win New Hampshire. Some claim that putting Clinton in the victim role, that is Obama and Edwards teaming up togther and criticizing Hilary in the debates, acually helped Hilary win the woman vote via empathy. Or perhaps, sympathy.

Bill Richardson only got 4% of the new hampshire vote, which is a slight improvement from the 2% he got in Iowa. Thus, the presidential rat race is no longer worth his time, energy and financial resources. He dropped. I liked thatguy, it’s too bad. The real question is where is the 6 million extra fundraising dollars to his campaign going? he raised like 19 mil…and only spent 13 mil…woops?

Dream Watch
Terrible, fitfull sleep. No dreams. But i did wake up twice and guzzle a water bottle. I really should hydrate during the waking hours, haha strange…


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