Different SCenery, Same SCene

14 Jan

There must be some reason why my body is treating sleep like a toxin.

I think i’ll skipping the whole r.e.m. hype tonight, unpack a bit, and head to class when im done at 9 something. The pittiful alternative: that quintesential, frusterating restless-nighttime-routine where every fiber of the logical fabric is begging the heart to orchastrate the body with a slow,steady, soothing rhythem. Split into two; the mind forfeits its civilized ego and grovels down to the feet, the body, the animal,pleading for rest. What a simple pleasure–just rest.

Nightmare.Or is this a magnificint Dream? Who the fuck knows. A Few Nights Ago. It may be pg-13. IMPORTANT NOTE: im not writng this shit to get attention or worry or pity. The fact of the matter is, it’s nearly 7 am now, and im just reminiscing over those good old days when i slept. Err, kinda. nobody worry about me, its all gravy, just having trouble with my sleeping cycle and having some crazy ass nightime private cinimea flicks in my head that are worth me remembering to try and figure out why i have them so i can stop having them and sleep like a real person. that being said…

One day I fell into a deep sea, penetratrating blue. Liquid ice, wrapping around me like a mummy, remorseless bitting cold. Frost glazed over my eyes.Ice weighed down my tounge; even if I knew words to try and explain, which i didn’t, i couldn’t have murmured a thing. I knew I was sinking. At first I fought gravity, kicking, trying to float. Submerged. Slowly, gently, but persistantly and forcefully submerged.Paralyzed: further down i go, matallic frantic fear, rational fear, worry,anxiety, acceptance. Contact, the sea floor.I look at the hazy aqua marine sky above, ripples the whispering clouds . Just Be. Undercurrents rocked me back and fourth, back and fourth, a daughter of the sea. Heavy eyes, exhausted lungs, back and fourth, hypnotized to sleep by the submarine lullaby. Everyday I woke up, I was closer to the surface. Eventually I felt the suns rays sting my back, penetrating through the shallow bay. Dethawed, alive, air, stretch. Hiked to the top of a twisted, knotted hill. Gazed into the sea 100 feet blow, and it gazed back. I was glad to be out, but appriciative I had the opportunity to not be a tourist, to be a real local, in the water. no longer scared, at peace, inhale exhale, brave curious strong warrior simle leap land, invincible.

My attempt at interpretation when i awoke: I have to re-learn to trust the night. tease my imigination to just drift one cloud further into a dream, a slumer, and a rejuvinated awakening.

Awake.Hopefully, that will be a relevant concept in my law class at 6 pm tonight. night.

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One Response to “Different SCenery, Same SCene”

  1. Empowered Fasionista January 15, 2008 at 1:26 AM #

    you should just take a sleeping pill….it will solve all your issues….but really that seems like a cool dream. I used to have a dream that the nazis were chasing afte me on a grass hill and then i ran into the bathroom and into a stall. Then i had a huge puffy jacket on and it was the only thing that saved me when they would shoot me….umm yeah…its kinda messed up: point, your dream seems really cool. There is a bunch of book on what dreams me…I mean if you’re into that and all…hahaha!

    I miss you!

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