Theraputic Email Plea

15 Mar

If anyone saw me on Monday or Tuesday, I was a complete mess. Personal stuff, two midterms, and getting the grade back on a midterm from the week before all bubbled inside my mind like a teapot, until it reached a boil. I broke down into tears, I screamed. Some of the anxiety was just the stress of all of the looming library study hours and upcoming assignments. I’m used to academic stress, and alone it is manageable. Another component of the anxiety was lack of sleep, the effects of which cycle through fatigue, silliness, deindividuation, and finally everything about life seeming impossible, epic, and unfair. I was at stage four, which didn’t help. The last part was the shame: the shame that I couldn’t handle my own life, the shame of my own immaturity backlashing and slapping me in the face after turning a blind eye to my own deficiencies, and the shame of what those deficiencies are. It’s break now, my assignments are done, I’ve slept, and now all that’s left to do is face the music and get the help I need by blasting the music as loud as I can and embracing my own capabilities for what they are and what they aren’t. Sighhhh…. I am dyslexic, here me roar.

Below is the email I wrote to my Law renowned professor and TA regarding my midterm grade. The very last thing I wanted to do was to personally and/or publicly give this situation any thought, but after time and some introspective thinking took place, I’ve concluded the antithesis: the best thing for me to do is to make to the situation as public as possible, come out of the proverbial learning disabled closet, and try to fix this laughably poor grade anomaly I’ve never dealt with before to sooth the sting of the shame.

edit: took out e-mail. I think the above gives the gist of things.


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