Tomorrow is your last tomorrow. The time it will take the sun to blossom out of the eastern horizon, arch, and dip down into the western waters is all the time you have. Where do you spend it? with who?doing what? why? Does your behavior change? do your actions? what would happen if you lived everyday like that? I’ve always heard that religious epiphany or dependence arises in the face of extreme hardship or near-death instances. Understandable- if one has no control how nice would it feel to be taken care of ( by god pressumably), right?
Growing up is the worst. When i was a kid, I was convinced that i was a prophet. I never told anyone because as much as i held it to be as true as 2+2=4, i realized it sounded far-fetched. Now I get it. I’m not a prophet, im a person. A person in a group of people, lined up on an infinite vector extending into the past and future and i just happen to be a point in the present. I wish i was a prophet.
I guess i wish a lot of things.
First and foremost, I want to be babysat again.
Independence is my strong suit, but it would be so, so nice to have a vacation from looking out for myself, especially in a stage where my usual steadfast confidence in by capability to do so is clouded. I make stupid decisions when my head is this foggy. A barred crib is not what I’m after, maybe just the security blankie and bottle would do. I’m feeling suffocated by my own anxiety and it’s knawing away at me inside out.
I need to go home i need to go home i need to go home. I mean, i am from kansas. Isn’t saying it 3 times the trick. ( insert clicking heals, here.)