Automated Response-Up Yours, Samsung

13 Apr

This is my rage against the machine.

My theory: humans are becoming robots.

Don’t write me off, the only conspiracy about this theory is that it’s so hush-hush for such a blatent phenonmeon. I know the claim is on the lofty/paraniod side, so I’ll guide you through my reasoning. Look, I’m not saying Hu-bots are good,bad,inevitable or anything; alls im sayin’ is that the evidence is is pretty significant.

1.Plastic Surgury: Plastic makes perfect, right? Calculators don’t have to wait,contemplate and work before getting the output result it wants, why should we? Skip the middle step ( isn’t “work ethic” just empty national progoganda to rally the people and boost the economy?), go get those calf implants.
2.Cochlear implants: Becoming bionic. Here is where i sound like a callous, coldhearted bitch: diveristy and handicap can be cumbersome and undesireable for the individual, sometimes even taxing on society, but it’s great for humanity. I’m in no way opposed to any person getting cochlear implants ( my dad is in about 7 years) because I accept that we Americans each live like the leading protagonist in our own life novel. I know I do. I’d get the implant. But I’ll leave it at this: where would art and knowledge be or not be if all of the handicapped and drug ridden Greats had percieved the world in more or less the same way as you and I. Bheetoven, Freud, Vango, Edgar Allen Poe ( well, most writers and alcoholism), Einstein ( dyslexia), Khalo,and on and on-deviation breeds creativity, enough said. I can wait until globalization really does it’s thang, I had enough novel stimuli as a baby, give me homoginization yo.
3.Genetic Engeneering: give me mutants, or give me death.Literally.
4. Linguistic Loops: language limits and defines our thoughts and thoughts loop back and demand a lexicon of words to articulate them. Back in the day, people likened how our brains to pipelines in everyday laymen’s metaphors. How novice. Along came computers and cars and BOOM! Our brains are processing and computation devices filled with neural circuts and higher order processing capabilities. BOOM! Our bodies are machines, which have ideal shapes for their model. BOOM! Food is fuel, to sustain our metabolic meters, with measured calories ( energy units) in and out to keep the machine running. We don’t get tired, we’re ‘run on empty.’ If you considered literary devices to be a form of creative communication (“art”), then the real funny part is this: it’s life imitating art ( i.e. likening our minds computers) ,which were created to replicate a component of life (an ideal physical manifestation of human cognitive processing.)
5. That’s what the monkey’s said. All you doubter need not look further back than the last human hybrid with the monkies. I’m pretty sure they were unaware they were morphing into us because it look a while, and likewise…well..ill let your minds wander.goodnight.


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