Archive | August, 2008

Back TO Skoooool

9 Aug

Hey, friends, this is an important note: Strangers/creeps taking a stroll on the world wise web, ignore this:

I look different than when I left. However tempting it may be to point this out to me, in the form of a ‘ you look great’ thinking i won’t pick up the subtleties, please refrain.I do realize that I am asking a lot of you all, not to state the obvious even in the form of a compliment to my face, because my mind is still healing and not healed. Hearing those things drives me mentally nuts. And while yes, I’m personally proud of my progress, and yes, I know there are brighter and more balanced days to look forward to in my mental future, I am today where I am and this is what I need for you guys as friends.

SEE YAAAA’LLL SOOOON YAHOOOO

Advertisements

I Am Freaked Out

9 Aug

WATCHING OPENING CEREMONY OF THE OLYMPICS.

OREO COMMERCIAL. LITTLE REDHEAD GIRL. DUNKS COOKIE.

SHE LOOKS IDENTICAL TO ME WHEN I WA LIKE 7. I WAS ENTRACED BECAUSE I WAS CONVINCED IT MUST HAVE BEEN FOOTAGE OF ME EATING A COOKIE EDITED.THIS IS THE MOST BIZARRE THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.

I AM ON TV.

if anyone can find this commercial let me know.

Back TO Skoooool

9 Aug

Hey, friends, this is an important note: Strangers/creeps taking a stroll on the world wise web, ignore this:

I look different than when I left. However tempting it may be to point this out to me, in the form of a ‘ you look great’ thinking i won’t pick up the subtleties, please refrain.I do realize that I am asking a lot of you all, not to state the obvious even in the form of a compliment to my face, because my mind is still healing and not healed. Hearing those things drives me mentally nuts. And while yes, I’m personally proud of my progress, and yes, I know there are brighter and more balanced days to look forward to in my mental future, I am today where I am and this is what I need for you guys as friends.

SEE YAAAA’LLL SOOOON YAHOOOO

I Am Freaked Out

8 Aug

WATCHING OPENING CEREMONY OF THE OLYMPICS.

OREO COMMERCIAL. LITTLE REDHEAD GIRL. DUNKS COOKIE.

SHE LOOKS IDENTICAL TO ME WHEN I WA LIKE 7. I WAS ENTRACED BECAUSE I WAS CONVINCED IT MUST HAVE BEEN FOOTAGE OF ME EATING A COOKIE EDITED.THIS IS THE MOST BIZARRE THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.

I AM ON TV.

if anyone can find this commercial let me know.

Counter intuitive

6 Aug

Every week I grapple with a different assignment. Last week, I was rushed to read two books in five days. These books were mental earthquakes.Shook up my world.And now, the chaotic aftermath ensues: thinking about revamping the way I think. Quite literally, I am manipulating my thought processes as to foster long term potentiation between currently unrelated neurons. ( Long Term Potentiation is just a neuroscience nerdy way of explaining Learning through neurons. Neurons that fire together, wire together. And from there on out, an activation of neuron 1 may jump-start a less intense, slower, but still present, firing from neuron 2 as well.Learned Associations. The reason why when you saw Cheeze-It, the color Orange comes to mind.) I have to drop everything I think I know and fully trust the words written by strangers on the pages before me rather than my own life experience.
They do make an awful lot of sense.
No, they’re all in it for book sale revenues which increase with ‘feel good’ endings.
Well, not following it will get me Nowhere.
Maybe not, but at least I know where Nowhere is; to unequivacoly trust a book with my life is extreme, but following it to an undiscolsed location seems insane, like welcoming a kidnapper in my sanctuary.
Emily, What do you have to lose?
The ( at times) self destructive weapon that is the way i conceptualize myself and how i fit into the context of the world as I see it. Changing the language , anarchy to any rules and morality judgements I held.
Emily, are you willing to give that up if that cracks open the door for a slight possibility you could be the version of yourself you’ve always wanted to be?
Maybe.

Counter intuitive

5 Aug

Every week I grapple with a different assignment. Last week, I was rushed to read two books in five days. These books were mental earthquakes.Shook up my world.And now, the chaotic aftermath ensues: thinking about revamping the way I think. Quite literally, I am manipulating my thought processes as to foster long term potentiation between currently unrelated neurons. ( Long Term Potentiation is just a neuroscience nerdy way of explaining Learning through neurons. Neurons that fire together, wire together. And from there on out, an activation of neuron 1 may jump-start a less intense, slower, but still present, firing from neuron 2 as well.Learned Associations. The reason why when you saw Cheeze-It, the color Orange comes to mind.) I have to drop everything I think I know and fully trust the words written by strangers on the pages before me rather than my own life experience.
They do make an awful lot of sense.
No, they’re all in it for book sale revenues which increase with ‘feel good’ endings.
Well, not following it will get me Nowhere.
Maybe not, but at least I know where Nowhere is; to unequivacoly trust a book with my life is extreme, but following it to an undiscolsed location seems insane, like welcoming a kidnapper in my sanctuary.
Emily, What do you have to lose?
The ( at times) self destructive weapon that is the way i conceptualize myself and how i fit into the context of the world as I see it. Changing the language , anarchy to any rules and morality judgements I held.
Emily, are you willing to give that up if that cracks open the door for a slight possibility you could be the version of yourself you’ve always wanted to be?
Maybe.

Sexual Harrasement

4 Aug

I am a heretic to my gender, according to Nordstrom.
I have arms, I have legs.I can hold a baby, row a boat and run freely. I have a head and face, a brain and mouth; I am someones daughter and have a unique identity and story, I have opinion’s and I share them wanted or not. I have eyes, both knowing and curious-you see, I am complex.Like a human being. I have a body, and my body is my tool to till the world to cultivate my vision, and how dare you make me a another blueprint in your marketing scheme.
I was coaxed into going to Nordstrom today. The Devil herself in Designer Heels. In the checkout line at the shoe department, there was a golden statue. On an pedestal, right before my very eyes, was the ideal woman. This is who I am supposed to aspire to be. No,This is what I’m supposed to be. A What. A Thing. A limbless,headless, sexy piece of tits and hips connected by a literally pencil thin waist. And then put on display to look pretty.

Maybe I can see that and think ‘Nordstrom Fuck Off’, but I’m not sure I could say the same of every 8 year old in the store. Or 48 year old for that matter.

I’m sick of this shit. Send me to Jupiter, I’ll recolonize.

Sexual Harrasement

3 Aug

I am a heretic to my gender, according to Nordstrom.
I have arms, I have legs.I can hold a baby, row a boat and run freely. I have a head and face, a brain and mouth; I am someones daughter and have a unique identity and story, I have opinion’s and I share them wanted or not. I have eyes, both knowing and curious-you see, I am complex.Like a human being. I have a body, and my body is my tool to till the world to cultivate my vision, and how dare you make me a another blueprint in your marketing scheme.
I was coaxed into going to Nordstrom today. The Devil herself in Designer Heels. In the checkout line at the shoe department, there was a golden statue. On an pedestal, right before my very eyes, was the ideal woman. This is who I am supposed to aspire to be. No,This is what I’m supposed to be. A What. A Thing. A limbless,headless, sexy piece of tits and hips connected by a literally pencil thin waist. And then put on display to look pretty.

Maybe I can see that and think ‘Nordstrom Fuck Off’, but I’m not sure I could say the same of every 8 year old in the store. Or 48 year old for that matter.

I’m sick of this shit. Send me to Jupiter, I’ll recolonize.

Inverse Ageing

1 Aug

John McCain is a fossil. He is old, old and out of touch, old and an anti-American testament to crusade against ageing.

Your words, America, not mine.

If you ask me, John McCain may be old, but judging by his campaign he would lead America with the catty charisma of a Middle School Queen Bee. Witness, immaturity at it’s finest:

“John McCain’s campaign is not backing down from the controversy over it’s latest television commercial. Titled “Celeb,” the ad, set to run in 11 battleground states, declared Sen. Barack Obama to be the “biggest celebrity in the world,” and juxtaposed his image with those of Paris Hilton and Brittney Spears. The Obama campaign cried foul, accusing McCain and Republicans of trying to scare voters instead of talking about the issues.”

Inverse Ageing

1 Aug

John McCain is a fossil. He is old, old and out of touch, old and an anti-American testament to crusade against ageing.

Your words, America, not mine.

If you ask me, John McCain may be old, but judging by his campaign he would lead America with the catty charisma of a Middle School Queen Bee. Witness, immaturity at it’s finest:

“John McCain’s campaign is not backing down from the controversy over it’s latest television commercial. Titled “Celeb,” the ad, set to run in 11 battleground states, declared Sen. Barack Obama to be the “biggest celebrity in the world,” and juxtaposed his image with those of Paris Hilton and Brittney Spears. The Obama campaign cried foul, accusing McCain and Republicans of trying to scare voters instead of talking about the issues.”

%d bloggers like this: