Counter intuitive

5 Aug

Every week I grapple with a different assignment. Last week, I was rushed to read two books in five days. These books were mental earthquakes.Shook up my world.And now, the chaotic aftermath ensues: thinking about revamping the way I think. Quite literally, I am manipulating my thought processes as to foster long term potentiation between currently unrelated neurons. ( Long Term Potentiation is just a neuroscience nerdy way of explaining Learning through neurons. Neurons that fire together, wire together. And from there on out, an activation of neuron 1 may jump-start a less intense, slower, but still present, firing from neuron 2 as well.Learned Associations. The reason why when you saw Cheeze-It, the color Orange comes to mind.) I have to drop everything I think I know and fully trust the words written by strangers on the pages before me rather than my own life experience.
They do make an awful lot of sense.
No, they’re all in it for book sale revenues which increase with ‘feel good’ endings.
Well, not following it will get me Nowhere.
Maybe not, but at least I know where Nowhere is; to unequivacoly trust a book with my life is extreme, but following it to an undiscolsed location seems insane, like welcoming a kidnapper in my sanctuary.
Emily, What do you have to lose?
The ( at times) self destructive weapon that is the way i conceptualize myself and how i fit into the context of the world as I see it. Changing the language , anarchy to any rules and morality judgements I held.
Emily, are you willing to give that up if that cracks open the door for a slight possibility you could be the version of yourself you’ve always wanted to be?
Maybe.

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