9 Jul

My anger is angry, my hunger is hungry, my dinner was undercooked and expired runny eggs at 11:00 pm after I collapsed in fetal position. My mother, father, grandmother and brother decided to eat out Chinese food and told me they were too far for me to meet them but they’d bring me home food. They did. My brother took what was ordered to be my dinner with him on his way out of the house. Everything in the refrigerator is either meat, rotten or crescent molding. The freezer is frozen meat. The milk is sour. It’s been about a week since I’ve eaten warm food. I wanted that dinner so badly. After I collapsed tonight, my mom told me to get up. “What’s the matter with you.”…”huh?”. “Close the freezer you’re wasting energy.” I got out the words “hungry”. She made me eggs, a very nice gesture. She didn’t take the time to cook them I was too hungry to notice until halfway through the soup eggs, I gagged and there they were, same consistency, in front of me again. So close. At least she attempted to feed me. Honestly, I’m grateful, that’s rare. I am writing this as I am downing OJ and cheezits. The dinner I really didn’t want to have. There is just something about hot food. I miss it. Hot food that’s not oatmeal. But I’m full enough to fall asleep which is all I wanted anyway. I think they’re trying to kill me, from the inside (spirit) out (body). We’ll see.


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