Learning the Hard Way. Knowing through deduction what you do not want for yourself, and eliminating the negatives until what is left is a positive notion of what is wanted for oneself.
Learning the hard way. Ground, step, up, step. One advantage to learning the hard way is that you have a solid foundation of experience to anwser all of the questions concerning what you want for yourself, including, why you want it.
Tonight my parents didn’t even try to get along to save face. They undermine one another’s confidence and integrity and the methods were getting grittier and more devicive and, well, my brother and I opted to finish early, let them bicker, and wash dishes. vI am not sure what I want for myself, but here is another addition to the ‘do not want’ list: to let love sour into hate like spoiled milk. In general, I’d prefer to stroke the harp in the opposite direction, healing, alchemy, or just not letting the material turn over the sacred immutable.