Tag Archives: Personal

Independence Night

4 Jul

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When the hypocrite becomes aware of their simultaneous truths and living contradictions, does the power vested in that knowledge position transform the hypocrite into an ingenuous being? Or is a hypocrite validated and realized just  alright with settling with a puff instead of a gust when blowing out the birthday candles?

I don’t enjoy staying drunk because I don’t remember what triggered me to ponder the above inquiry, just a few moments ago. Regardless, tonight was fun, and by an large, I tend to experience holidays are 90% hype, 10% fun. Tonight way good. And blowing explosives up aside, I am forever indebted to the people who are serving the country in the military during a time of war. The courage and selflessness is beyond my comprehension. These are my peers. We are one generation. They are there so I am here, feeling as free as I allow myself to feel. Thank you.

Once again, the greater Portland Metro Area flocked to Downtown Portland to watch the fireworks show show under the Morrison Bridge by the Willamette River, and then go out to the bars (or take the stroller ride through the fountains and back to the mini van in the Smart Park.) What a neat commonality a national holiday is: celebrating identity based on current location and identification with one country brings together all of the divided persons in the United States. No matter the age, and no matter the language, we the people watch the fireworks display and we the people enjoy the festivities: both in our individual ways, and together.

The Rose Festival and the Blues Festival, volunteering at the central library and hikes in the national parks nested inside city boundaries, have brought me my camera (and good company, shoutout) into Downtown Portland quite frequently this summer. The above photographs I have taken, so are a scent of the city of roses.


Bedside Lava Lamp

20 Jun

I found my old lava lamp a few weeks ago. The fire-lit blue plasma ‘lava’ bubbles warp shape and gnash forms inside a cone, filled with clear malleable water/air like substance . The clear substance captures my intrigue: similar to describing water in a fishbowl, what the filler fluid is by description is elucidated by what the bubbles are not. The clear fluid lacks corporeal form, and put positively, is the present absence of the capricious lava as it heats and cools.

My thoughts cast a net before my feet, and if I cannot bring myself in the teetering moment of hubris to regain humility, I trip in my own trap. Falling is a torpedo, a whirlpool, a black hole astray from the light, and into the darkness. It is a pattern, this type of descent. Slipping is often set off through the making of  a mistake: not for the first time, but for the nth time. Before the fall, the sway precedes the slip. The sway is where I lose a sense of I, and I am taken over despite myself, to spite myself. To flirt with temptation and sway towards the pattern is to set oneself up for a fight, for the pull of temptation towards that trigger, is a vice hungry for a device, and that grip is waiting with white knuckles and the forces of gravity and magnets.

Conversely, I have found that in the moments or flow of moments in which I am living my passion, I am participating in something greater. To practice one’s passion is to participate and honor universal compassion.  This experience is the antithesis of vice finding device. A perfect pair, the hand fits into the glove snug as snug is, and the experience of touch and to be touched is muted and diluted just the same. The virtue of compassion and the vice of device are similar in that they can be defined against one another: a binary opposition,  like the white fluid around the blue lava bubbles ascending and descending inside of the lamp.

Sometimes when I cannot sleep I watch the shadow play on my ceiling cast by the lava lamp beside me. It is astonishing how remarkably similar the lava shadows are to the caprice of free willed hands, not moving with grace and fluent rhythm, but rather, spastic and sporadic motion and agile jutting with and against the nature of its own movement, as if the shadows have intent or purpose unfolding in their dance.

Strangely, to watch the lava itself, rather than the shadows, makes me feel quite uneasy. As if I am seeing something that I should not be seeing. As if I walked in on a secret and instead of closing the door and moving along with a fleeting apology, I let my curiosity and fascination with that quixotic sensation get the best of me and I lay and stare with full moon eyes.

Noteworthy Add-on:

Digital signals are imprinted with a picture of their destination from the beginning of their journey towards their end. Carl Jung had the good fortune of opening his first private practice in part due to the word of mouth rumor of Jung’s wizardry, spread by a mentally ill local patient. He could not have known his life would lead the path it did, and the improvisational set his life apart from many others. Am I an analogue girl in a digital world?


8 Jun

  • Free will: intention, intensity and purpose from within  accelerates mass into energy that propels gears; in essence, we put ourselves in motion, intentionally.

  • Predetermination: We are moving from forces within and beyond ourselves, accelerated or weighed down by gravity of emotions or environmental circumstance from electromagnetic jolts or pulls. In this way, we move in the rhythm of a schema and script unconsciously. Our bodies are battery like packets of energy, positive and negative and perhaps love guides us to find the opposite charged half that balances the capsule we were born into.

BeMused Design, Man or Machine

Stumble Upon This!

30 May

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A Morning Mantra, Resolution:

26 May

I  will soar: I have faith in the belief in myself to soar.

Between 3:00 p.m. and 8:30 p.m. yesterday I was sitting, waiting, wandering at airports and in airplanes.

The transitional move  up the coast to Portland only took an afternoon. The transition took the entire afternoon. The transition smashed me like a sardine, packed between thousands of journeys and bags, time traveling on a jet-fueled conveyor belt through space. The transition was an insular experience, and until halfway through my second flight, I did not read a word or listen to music as I looked inside myself with compassion and processed the changes in attempt to iron out the sentimental wrinkles tensing my muscles, heart, chest and mind. Hard to concentrate.

All of the above are simultaneously true. When I finally did open the New York Times, I read the paper in a record time (for me), inhaling the source like water on a dry sponge in under an hour. There was an op-ed debate and letters to the editor that stuck a cord in me. There had been an earlier article on ‘Mediocrity in the Military Academies.’ The people’s response was touching. Midshipmen received support from all angles, and in their own way, the responses asserted the qualities that these young men and volunteers strive to serve their country in a time of war: loyalty, honor, ethical discipline, selflessness, and serving others.

Another Op-Ed article was a comparative analysis finding the common thread through world religious traditions. The uniting piece between and amongst them all: compassion for others like compassion for self.

An article in the Science Times section traced the genetic origins of corn, a crop that only exists today as a domesticated plant. Red eyed male Tree Frogs are the first vertebrae  discovered to use vibrations as a signal to other males as an aggressive statement of territoriality. A bacteria has been found to cause snow and rain.

The world is fascinating. and my curiosity and thirst to absorb all that I can surges through me. Every morning,  my resolution to myself is to repeat the mantra upon waking as a way to connect with the qualities and selfless compassion as true fuel and nourishment through this journey–

I  will soar: I have faith in the belief in myself to soar.

Start Believing in What I Know

19 May

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Tagging the Production of Culture

15 Mar

Quick–divert your eyes. Look up.

Do you see  the vice gripping the voice you express? Freedom of speech arguments assert the freedom for content and unadulterated, unregulated word choice–the content.

Open content is one form of freedom. There is no denying the importance of freedom of speech so far as content is concerned. However, the structure and function surrounding the content defines and determines how loudly and lasting expression of content, free as free can achieve, will ring.

Mediated Horizontal Mode of Communication.

Familiarize yourself with the term because this concept creates the carvernous walls insulating the free expression with inward echos: ringing, rung, hung in the air, faint and fading, whispering, stagnant, silent, feeble, falling and flattened intonation, dead. Fin.

One must know the limitation to cross the limitation into the new frontier. What is beyond the horizon is dependent upon our consciousness as one mind. Branch out, dance and sing: today is only as free as the conscious inertia we enacted yesterday.

The following list are the global tags, conglomerates of topics relevant the present as the present passes and future finds itself here once again:

Music News Life Politics Photography Art Travel Food EventsPoetry Fashion Family Personal Writing Movies Entertainment Books Video Videos LoveThoughts Random Religion Culture Media Photos Technology Reviews Education Recipes Health SportsRogers park Blog Film Inspiration History Humor Business Friends Design People Social Media Home ChristianityPhilosophy Faith Articles Science Economy Nature Relationships Work 60626 School Review Marketing BloggingGovernment 49th Ward Updates Musings Television Journal Misc Announcements Reflections Miscellaneous Cooking EnvironmentSpirituality TV Fine Art Current Events Photo Quotes Women God Poems Russian Fun Fiction Community Opinion 2010 Internet AllRogers Park Chamber of Commerce Research Other Economics Health Care Pictures] Human Rights Rants Commentary IslamArchitecture Random Thoughts Animals Beauty Lifestyle Leadership Games Stories USA Ramblings Comedy Parenting Literature Diary IndiaMy Life Style Corruption China Photo Galleries Europe Quest Network Services Society Church Children Shopping Theology Israel RunningAmerica Nutrition Book Reviews Spiritual Real Estate Me Projects Links Funny Obama Sex Kids Linux Journalism Event Sport Interviews JapanJustice Software Training Daily life Celebrities English

Reason, Choice, Intention, Will

15 Mar

Notes From the Underground: Furthermore,

For what is a man without desires, without free choice, without free will, if not a stop in an organ?

Reason is an excellent thing, there is no disputing that. But reason is only as good as reason and senseless to the senses.

Whereas free will is the manifestation of the entirety of man’s nature and life, including reason and all its impulses.

Man’s worst defect is perpetual moral obliquity.

Perpetual moral obliquity and lack of good sense, the later caused by the former.

Fantastic fatal sense: mans acts of ingratitude preformed against himself to convince himself that he is a man and not a piano key. Man would make himself go mad in order to ensure that he is a man and not a piano key.

    The 101 Most Beautiful Words in English Countdown

    6 Jan

    The 101 Most Beautiful Words in English, in alphabetical order (based on sound > meaning, but not surprising, the two often go hand in hand)
    1. Ailurophile: A cat-lover.
    2. Assemblage:  A gathering.
    3. Beleaguer:  To exhaust with attacks.
    4. Brood: To think alone.
    5. Bucolic: In a lovely rural setting.
    6. Bungalow: A small, cozy cottage.
    7. Chatoyant: Like a cat’s eye.
    8. Comely: Attractive.
    9. Conflate: To blend together.
    10. Cynosure: A focal point of admiration.
    11. Dalliance: A brief love affair.
    12. Demesne: Dominion, territory.
    13. Demure: Shy and reserved.
    14. Denouement: The resolution of a mystery.
    15. Desuetude: Disuse.
    16. Desultory: Slow, sluggish.
    17. Diaphanous: Filmy.
    18. Dissemble: Deceive.
    19. Dulcet: Sweet, sugary.
    20. Ebullience: Bubbling enthusiasm.
    21. Effervescent: Bubbly.
    22. Efflorescence: Flowering, blooming.
    23. Elision: Dropping a sound or syllable in a word.
    24. Elixir: A good potion.
    25. Eloquence: Beauty and persuasion in speech.
    26. Embrocation: Rubbing on a lotion.
    27. Emollient: A softener.
    28. Ephemeral: Short-lived.
    29. Epiphany: A sudden revelation.
    30. Erstwhile: At one time, for a time.
    31. Ethereal: Gaseous, invisible but detectable.
    32. Evanescent: Vanishing quickly, lasting a very short time.
    33. Evocative: Suggestive.
    34. Fetching: Pretty.
    35. Felicity: Pleasantness.
    36. Forbearance: Withholding response to provocation.
    37. Fugacious: Fleeting.
    38. Furtive: Shifty, sneaky.
    39. Gambol: To skip or leap about joyfully.
    40. Glamour: Beauty.
    41. Gossamer: The finest piece of thread, a spider’s silk
    42. Halcyon: Happy, sunny, care-free.
    43. Harbinger: Messenger with news of the future.
    44. Imbrication: Overlapping and forming a regular pattern.
    45. Imbroglio: An altercation or complicated situation.
    46. Imbue: To infuse, instill.
    47. Incipient: Beginning, in an early stage.
    48. Ineffable: Unutterable, inexpressible.
    49. Ingénue: A naïve young woman.
    50. Inglenook: A cozy nook by the hearth.
    51. Insouciance: Blithe nonchalance.
    52. Inure: To become jaded.
    53. Labyrinthine: Twisting and turning.
    54. Lagniappe: A special kind of gift.
    55. Lagoon: A small gulf or inlet.
    56. Languor: Listlessness, inactivity.
    57. Lassitude: Weariness, listlessness.
    58. Leisure: Free time.
    59. Lilt: To move musically or lively.
    60. Lissome: Slender and graceful.
    61. Lithe: Slender and flexible.
    62. Love: Deep affection.
    63. Mellifluous: Sweet sounding.
    64. Moiety: One of two equal parts.
    65. Mondegreen: A slip of the ear.
    66. Murmurous: Murmuring.
    67. Nemesis: An unconquerable archenemy.
    68. Offing: The sea between the horizon and the offshore.
    69. Onomatopoeia: A word that sounds like its meaning.
    70. Opulent: Lush, luxuriant.
    71. Palimpsest: A manuscript written over earlier ones.
    72. Panacea: A solution for all problems
    73. Panoply: A complete set.
    74. Pastiche: An art work combining materials from various sources.
    75. Penumbra: A half-shadow.
    76. Petrichor: The smell of earth after rain.
    77. Plethora: A large quantity.
    78. Propinquity: An inclination.
    79. Pyrrhic: Successful with heavy losses.
    80. Quintessential: Most essential.
    81. Ravel: To knit or unknit.
    82. Redolent: Fragrant.
    83. Riparian: By the bank of a stream.
    84. Ripple: A very small wave.
    85. Scintilla: A spark or very small thing.
    86. Sempiternal: Eternal.
    87. Seraglio: Rich, luxurious oriental palace or harem.
    88. Serendipity: Finding something nice while looking for something else.
    89. Summery: Light, delicate or warm and sunny.
    90. Sumptuous: Lush, luxurious.
    91. Surreptitious: Secretive, sneaky.
    92. Susquehanna: A river in Pennsylvania.
    93. Susurrous: Whispering, hissing.
    94. Talisman: A good luck charm.
    95. Tintinnabulation: Tinkling.
    96. Umbrella: Protection from sun or rain.
    97. Untoward: Unseemly, inappropriate.
    98. Vestigial: In trace amounts.
    99. Wafture: Waving.
    100. Wherewithal: The means.
    101. Woebegone: Sorrowful, downcast


    Future Reflections

    5 Jan

    Below: I was backpacking through Israel/Egypt with a friend, traveling with no plan and following our footsteps as we made them, our compass rose inspiration and intuition. I was in Jerusalem when this picture was snapped, with 19 years of experience stacked in my locked stare with the cameras eye. I see her and she is me but she  simultaneously seems like a stranger and I miss her like a shadow dissolved. I am a few more years and a million little pieces of her. So Strange…

    The 6th Sense

    5 Jan

    Suppose we all wake up tomorrow, and from that day forward, we include the luminous filament energy fields that are the fabric of the universe (and the inter and intrapersonal source of human vibrations) in our cognitive system and syntax.

    Suppose a different world. In this world, everyday we’re born into a new body, we wake and from sunrise until sunset we play the role prescribed to the phenotype de’jour. What does it mean to be a __ – __ ? Makes me wonder: what’s a day to a lifetime? A lifetime as a day is how reality seems as is, no scenario.

    Insomniac? Me?

    4 Jan

    5:44 AM–Daydreaming of sleeping.

    Tangled up in a scarlet cocoon of covers, my mind makes unexpected U turns and screeches to a halt at unanticipated stop signs on a time-traveling voyage into my memory bank. I did not consent, yet I am steering. Two minds in one brain: one, the sum of my nature, nurture, memory and experiences, my song; the other, a foreign installation, a formidable advisory, my socialization.

    Something about the night illuminates vulnerability that goes untouched in the daytime, as if the shadow perpetually lives at high noon beneath that sun so long as it’s in sight. Similar to a kaleidoscope, finding the light directed inward during the nighttime, the reconfiguration of random experiences focus and fade, focus and fade, morph and disassemble as soon as they focus in and fade away.

    As I lie waking, the world is rewinding, rapidly. As I lie waking, still as sleep, in a dark room of a resting house, clearly  the mind triumphs over logic and while my body fakes asleep my mind moves mountains like tectonic plates. The truth of tonight: I generally distrust people; however, I am terrified of loneliness, living and dying lonely. Not a probable fear, afterall I am human, humans are social animals that follow their motivations to circumvent such fears, but a fear nonetheless.Alone is far from lonely. I relish in time alone. I lose sleep considering living and dying, lonely.

    Coming Home: Bemused, Inebriated, Inspired to free write

    1 Jan

    Is balding a quantity or a quality?  Wave the white flag for peace, follow-up the question with a murmur, like a question on question suffix? Does the question have an answer at all? Call it rhetorical and burry my face behind a baracade of political correctness, not taking a stand for anything save questionably questioning everything to sum to nothing at all. Rhetoric stands stilted with nose in air giraffes on blocks of relativism. Relativism: irony, anyone? Perhaps paradox.

    I loath “its all relative” as an argument. Each way you work the logic, its backwards. If the sum of two double negatives equals a positive in the case of illogic, illogic, sum logic, then this colloquial courtesy “its all relative” may fit into the arguable parameters of the parking lot outside of the logic office.

    The assertion “its all relative” is an absolutism arguing the invalidity of all absolutisms.

    Its all relative is relative in it of itself, itself subject to perspective on the basic premise as truth or null truth.

    Happy New Year, Line Drawn with sun rays like giant side walk chalk marks on black asphalt on the hopscotched concrete square. Arbitrary at best but damned if I question why today and not lunar version of today or tomorrow or on my birthday or every dog has its day. I just don’t believe that time works this way we bending it but either my suspicion or the way of the world are bound to bounce back someday. Balding man….bald.

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