Tag Archives: wisdom

Conversation on the Stoop [FREE WRITE PM]

14 Aug

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She hunches over the railing of the front porch, flicking the butt of a cigarette into a ceramic ash tray. “Em, do me a favor and get me my wine so I can swallow it. I forgot where I put it.” I do as I’m told–Grandma barely asks a favor in a day, and I’m happy to fetch her request. Handing it to her, I reply wryly: “You said swallow it, like it’s a pill.” Grandma laughs. I laugh. Truth is funny even when painful in the bright light of a dark night.

Last night, I had a dream featuring thematic and archetypal symbols that have entered my unconscious mind a few times a week for the duration of about three months.The bird. Flying like the line that draws the third dimension: neither delineating latitude nor longitude, but drawing a diagonal trail like the axis of the earth.

Attached to the birds’ wings are two water baskets shaped like cauldrons, filled to the brim with water that spills of the sides. The bird would not be weighted. The birds’ intent and determination manifest in the miracle of lifting itself through the air, as if the anchors attached to its wings were boeuys, not baskets.

I was the bird. I have become the bird in dreams before, where its death transitioned into my life. My grandma’s name is Bertie.

We are facing different directions. I ask my grandma on the other side of the stoop why I am different from my Mom, Dad and Brother, and always have been. A pause precedes her response: “Maybe God put you here to do something that they weren’t put here to do.”


Interim Dream Journal

27 May

Lucid. Gradually, Lucid.

The dream began through my eyes in first person narrative and I died.

Dying and reawakening was confusing because when I came back to (from a coma in the hospital), I remembered being dead and through trying to reconnect and capture the memory of my death, I began to a crew all meta-cognitive functions while still in my dream. My perspective shifted from first person to their person, where I saw my body, had seamless access to the thought inside that body that were simultaneously flowing in my mind, but I was a soul and had no finger to point at lack of body. I relived the scene of my death. I was lucid and I knew it.

The dream felt like a thousand years long. I chose to relive the scene of my death and the aftermath of the hospital and then revisit the scene of my death again to face my fears of going back.

The dream took me to the ocean. There was a log floating in the middle of the ocean where we (self, brother, and people who I have and do care about, past) were swimming and splashing and playing. People started to leap on top of the floating log and shuffle across, jumping before it vanished into the vanishing horizon’s drop off. I was alive and loving the admiration of wide sparkling eyes  and up turned heads and the balance, speed, fearlessness and courage I challenged the task of the log with. Glowing, the admiration made me feel capable and I believed in my ability to soar. I went fast and fast across the lumber, saw there was an end to the horizon and while all the voices were shouting cautionary warning at me, I leapt and everything faded to black. Eternity. I vanished. I dissolved, I absolved, I dissipated, Everything I was and Nowhere and in no time I was particles drifting and humming on a melody with the ocean mist blowing where I desired, I was peaceful and peace.

I awoke in my drea in a hospital bed. My brother mom and dad were around me and I was confused and tired and in pain and like the IV attached to my arm, I gained memory slowly like dripping nutrients. They said I had been out for a long time and had gotten a concussion jumping over the edge of the oceans horizon. I said that’s not what happened, I had died and came back and jumped into the darkness and I floated. We returned to the scene of the incident, and I got back in the water. At this point I knew that I was dreaming and I relived the memory of my death (the dream repeated with meta-cognitive function and perspective). I was lucid and chose to stay in the scene and investigate its depth and beauty from all angles. I was in the ocean, just having awaken from a coma, and thought about why I came back here if I could go anywhere. I thought about the admiration for me courage that the others gave to me. I beamed. I loved that feeling, again. I relived it, again. I thought about the feeling of challenging borders and limits and the adventure f fearlessness against the body. I thrived and glowed. I was back for that, again. Is this ego Is this alive? whatever it was, I love that feeling, and I will chase it until the day I die. In the ocean again it was more difficult to swim as my limbs were weak. I called out for help and attention and there was a system of friend to support me and bring me to a boey. One person checked my legs to see if they were tired from treading water. They were not. I had reaffirmed my ability to continue on. I reached the horizon again and looked at it from al angels. My brother was there with me, beside me, the entire time. This time I saw that jumping over the edge may kill my body but I would not die. I exhaled salty ocean air and inhaled from sunshine. I awoke.

Edit: Walking home in the rain today. A red crack of a black light burst and ripped through the scene of for a millisecond, the illusion of the world, gray, bleak, wetness and slabs of cement sided with forrest and flowers, drained and disappeared. I look around me for passing cars or some easy explanation for the glitch. Answer sounded in rolling thunder about ten seconds after I begged the curious question. Like a jolt,  forgotten fragments of the above dream revived their vision and reclaimed life from the hallows of buried memory. They go as follow: there were three distinct bodies of water in my dream. A) a swimming pool, where a girl I casually know shared her swim teams challenge, how she had to tread water for four hours after the race in order to be an elite racer on her swim team. B) the aquatics center I played in as a kid, with huge slides and pseudo-tidal waves and C) The Ocean, where my first attempt upon recording the dream narrative began.

Lucid Ocean Dreamer

Finding Phi

23 May

A Synthesis of Research and Reading:

kheper-i kheper kheperu kheper-kuy m kheperu n Khepri kheper m sep tepy…

“[when] I became, the becoming became, I have become the becoming [the form] of Khepri who came into being on the First Time…

…when I became, the transformations became, all the metamorphoses coming to pass after I had become.”

-translated Lucy Lamy, Egyptian Mysteries, p.14

  • In hieroglyphic writing kheperrepresents not only the sacred scarab “but also all the metamorphoses or transformations of which it is the symbol, as wll as the idea of becoming, in general. The word kheperthus means “to become” in all possible verbal forms, while Khepriis the entity embodied in the sun as it rises in the morning, when darkness becomes light.” Lucy Lamy, Egyptian Mysteries, p.14 (Art and Imagination series, Thames and Hudson, 1981)

When all is said and done, the final Synthesis for this particular universe in general (and for this website in particular) is one of love.

Unconditional, Unlimited, Universally-Connected Love.

The Tree of Life

Diagram by Brad Reynolds, from Ken Wilber, A Brief History of Everything, (Shambhala: Boston), 1996.

Here we have a basic spiritual cosmology consisting of physical reality; intermediate or psychic reality; spiritual and Divine reality; and Absolute Reality or Godhead or Source. (see also the Three Tier Model, which is identical to the above except that it does not include Spirit/Infinite as a sperate hypostasis). As Professor Smith points out, each of these levels of reality can be studied separately:

“The marvels of the terrestrial plane are being unveiled at an astonishing rate by the physical sciences. The intermediate realm adds life and consciousness: biology helps to understand the former, and for light on the latter we turn to the durable findings of phenomenology, depth psychology, and parapsychology, as well as aspects of shamanism and folk religion. The theologies of the great traditions describe God’s knowable nature (the celestial plane) from a variety of cultural angles, and the literature of mysticism carries the mind as far as it can journey into God’s absolute and infinite depths” [ Beyond the Post-Modern Mind, p.45].

In this all-embracing gradational metaphysic, we have a way of looking at the world totally different to the conventional Materialistic or Dualistic stance. Borrowing a popular Theosophical term, I use the word “Esoteric” to indicate this alternative way of perceiving things.


Ancient Wisdom in Four Mantras

17 May

Extracted from Don Miguel Ruiz's The Four Agreements, a Toltec wisdom guide that heavily influences my lifestyle and perception.



11 May

Easter Egg & Egg Creation Myths, Newall

Egg Decorated with Hutzul Ribbon

Homeric Cosmogeny

The first recorded reference to a world egg occurs in an Egyptian papyrus of the New Kingdom Petosiris:

0 Egg of the water, source of the earth, product of the Eight, great in heaven and great, in the underworld, dweller in the thicket, chief of the Isle of the Lake of the Two Knives, I came forth with thee from the water; I came forth with thee from thy rest.

Egyptologists have not decided to whom this text refers. Probably it is Thoth, the god of the moon, who appeared in the form of an ibis, and who is described variously in different legends both as having hatched the world egg at Hermopolis, and as having emerged from the egg himself . Petosiris, the priest of Hermopolis, records that:

Part of the Egg was buried in this place, and here were found all beings who came forth from the Egg.

Various Egyptian deities are associated with the egg. An allusion to the Sun God Rah reads:

0 Rah in his egg, who beams in his disk, rises above his horizon, shapes himself with his own metalmgT he sun itself is “The solar eye, an egg to which is given life among them.”

Elsewhere we find:

It was made against those of your retinue, on account of the wish of the spirits that are there, for not letting the breaths be inhaled except by the Great and August God who is in his egg. I come to thee and I am at thy service.

This ancient idea of a primeval egg which hatched the sun god occurs frequently; the sun myth took various forms in Egyptian thought. In one representation the sun is an egg, laid daily by the celestial goose Seb, the god of the earth. From this egg was born the Phoenix, symbol of the sun.12 Thus, in The Book of the Dead, the deceased says:

Hail, thou god Tem, grant unto me the sweet breath which dwelleth in thy nostrils. I am the Egg which is in the Great Cackler, and I watch and guard that mighty thing which hath come into being, wherewith the god Seb hath opened the earth.

Khnum, a god of creation, whose name signifies “The Moulder,” formed the world egg, as though from a lump of clay on his potter’s wheel. In ancient drawings we also find Ptah of Memphis seated on his throne. The Chandogya Upanishad describes the original act of creation as the breaking of an egg in two pieces : The Sun is Brahma-this is the teaching. A further explanation thereof (is as follows).

In the beginning this world was merely non-being. It was existent. It developed. It turned into an egg. It lay for the period of a year. It was split asunder. One of the two egg-shell parts became silver, one gold. That which was of silver is this earth. That which was of gold is the sky . . . Now what was born therefrom is yonder sun. When it was born shouts and hurrahs; all beings and all desires rose up toward it . . . He who, knowing it thus, reverences the sun ashrahma.

In Hindu mythology hirazyagmbha, the golden world egg, appears in a bewildering variety of forms, according to different traditions:

The restless, darting fish, at fall of evening,

Seeks where he may his refuge in the waters,

His nest the egg-born seeks, their stall the cattle;

Each in his place, the god divides the creatures.

These lines refer to the sun. The Rig Veda describes eight sky divinities. One of these, the Aditya Surya, was born from an egg: Eight sons there are of Aditi, Who from her body were produced. With seven she approached the gods. But the egg-born she cast away. Surya driving his chariot, drawn by red horses, across the sky each day represents the sun god, like Apollo in the Greek pantheon.

Again in the Rig Veda Prajapati, the original male, fertilizes the primeval waters, the original female, transforming them into the golden egg. Inside sits Brahma, the Golden Person, where he remains for a thousand years, floating in the waters of creation, his miraculous power shining through the seven shells of the egg, infusing it with a golden radiance. Within the egg with Brahma are the continents, oceans, mountains, planets, divisions of the universe, gods, demons, and humanity. According to the Lazus of Mana Brahma, the original substance, propagated himself:

He, having willed to produce various beings from his own divine substance, first with a thought created the waters, and placed in them a productive seed. The seed became an egg bright as gold, blazing like the luminary with a thousand beams; and in that egg he was born himself in the form of Brahma, the great forefather of all spirits . . . In that egg the great power sat inactive a whole year of the Creator, at the close of which, by his thought alone, he caused the egg to divide itself. And from its two divisions he framed the heaven above and the earth beneath. In the midst he placed the subtil ether, the eight regions, and the permanent receptacle of waters.

Aristophanes in The Birds writes:

There was Chaos at first, and Darkness, and Night,

And Tartarus vasty and dismal;

But the Earth was not there, nor the Sky, nor the Air,

Till at length in the bosom abysmal

Of Darkness an egg, from the whirlwind conceived,

Was laid by the sable plumed Night.

And out of-that egg, as the seasons revolved,

Sprang Love, the entrancing, the bright,

Love brilliant and bold with his pinions of gold,

Like a whirlwind, refulgent and sparkling.


The Hypostases

7 May

The Neoplatonic hypostases in relation to other esoteric systems of thought:

This diagram shows Consciousness in terms of progressive gradations of subtle worlds and aspects/substrates (of Physical, Emotional, and Mental), as well as increasing Transformation and Transcendence

The Spiral Dance – Special 20th Anniversary Edition A Rebirth of the Ancient Religion of the Goddess, by Starhawk — extended excerpt


Between the Worlds

The moon is full. We meet on a hilltop that looks out over the bay. Below us, lights spread out like a field of jewels, and faraway skyscrapers pierce the swirling fog like the spires of fairytale towers. The night is enchanted,

Our candles have been blown out, and our makeshift altar cannot stand up under the force of the wind, as it sings through the branches of tall eucalyptus. We hold up our arms and let it hurl against our faces. We are exhilarated, hair and eyes streaming. The tools are unimportant; we have all we need to make magic: our bodies, our breath, our voices, each other.

The circle has been cast. The invocations begin:

All-dewy, sky-sailing pregnant moon,

Who shines for all.

Who flows through all…

Aradia, Diana, Cybele, Mah…

Sailor of the last sea,

Guardian of the gate,

Ever-dying, ever-living radiance…

Dionysus, Osiris, Pan, Arthur, Hu…

The moon clears the treetops and shines on the circle. We huddle closer for warmth. A woman moves into the center of the circle. We begin to chant her name:




The chant builds, spiraling upward. Voices merge into one endlessly modulated harmony. The circle is enveloped in a cone of light.

Then, in a breath — silence.

“You are Goddess,” we say to Diane, and kiss her as she steps back into the outer ring. She is smiling.

She remembers who she is.

One by one, we will step into the center of the circle. We will hear our names chanted, feel the cone rise around us. We will receive the gift, and remember:

“I am Goddess. You are God, Goddess. All that lives, breathes, loves, sings in the unending harmony of being is divine. “

In the circle, we will take hands and dance under the moon.

“To disbelieve in witchcraft is the greatest of all heresies.” Malleus Maleficarum (1486)


Words of Wisdom: On Art & Sacrifice

2 May

Joseph Campbell serves me as a source of inspiration, spiritually and academically. Campbell was inspired by Carl Jung. Their words articulate notions that stir something deep within me and resonate greatly, like a ball rolling around a Tibetan bowl.

The word “ART” can be simply said to be the synonym of Beauty. It is defined as the collection of beautiful, creative things. It is the expression of your imagination. It is the skill acquired by experience, study, or observation. It is an occupation requiring knowledge or skill. It highlights the conscious use of skill and creative imagination especially in the production of aesthetic objects and implies a personal, non analyzable creative power (Joseph Campbell).”

“Art is a kind of innate drive that seizes a human being and makes him its instrument. To perform this difficult office it is sometimes necessary for him to sacrifice happiness and everything that makes life worth living for the ordinary human being (Carl Jung).”


Synchronicity: One Organic Blueprint–BeMused Visual Abstraction

20 Apr

  • Tube Torus
  • Seed of Life
    • By ratcheting the Seed of Life one obtains the basic structure of the Tube Torus. The Tube Torus is basic in the study of Vortex forms. This first simple study of a one dimensional form leads to the understanding of multidimensional vortex forms.
  • Slinky Effect
  • The Spiderweb Effect
  • Golden Ratio/Mean Spiral from two different calculations
    • If you copy the Golden Mean Spiral several times and use the same center point, then place it in a circle, you obtain another means of viewing a vortex. This can also be done with any calculable spiral such as the Fibonacci spiral.
  • Zero Point
  • Harmonics of Sound
    • As you contemplate this image, the beginning of the study of Character Math seems to appear. This is a one dimensional look at the polar grid which is actually 3 dimensional. The study of music and how it pertains to the Flower of Life and the polar grid, yields harmonic calculations which describe other proportional properties in Sacred Geometry. Phi Harmonics research continues at San Graal School of Sacred Geometry. There are links on the front page to other articles and downloadable music files which are pertinent to the study of The Language of Light, according to Phi and the Vibration of our Universe.
    • Calculating the polar grid from a different perspective we get the harmonics of music equaling the twelfth root of two, which is the standard for tuning harmonics as we know them
  • The Donut Effect
  • Conical Hats
  • 12 Spiraling Cones Around 1 – Creation
  • Flower of Life
  • Sacred Geometry
  • Metatron’s Cube
  • Zero Point
  • Rods and Cones All Seeing Eye
  • The Court Jester and the Fleur de Lis (Flower of Life)
  • Hermes Trismegistus: The Emerald Tablets of Thoth
  • Gordian Knot: Eclipse of Time and Consciousness


13 Mar


In broadest terms, syzygy (pronounced /ˈsɪzɨdʒi/ ) is a kind of unity, especially through coordination or alignment, most commonly used in the astronomical and/or astrological sense. Syzygy is derived from the Late Latin syzygia, “conjunction,” from the Greek σύζυγος (syzygos). Syzygial , adjective of syzygy, describes the alignment of three or more celestial bodies in the same gravitational system along a line.

  • Astronomy: a syzygy is the alignment of three or more celestial bodies in the same gravitational system along a straight line. The word is usually used in context with the Sun , Earth , and the Moon or a planet, where the latter is in conjunction or opposition . Solar and lunar eclipses occur at times of syzygy, as do transits and occultations . The term is also applied to each instance of new moon or full moon when Sun and Moon are in conjunction or opposition, even though they are not precisely on one line with the Earth.

  • The word ‘syzygy’ is often loosely used to describe interesting configurations of planets in general. For example, one such case occurred on March 21, 1894 at around 23:00 GMT , when Mercury transited the Sun as seen from Venus , and Mercury and Venus both simultaneously transited the Sun as seen from Saturn . It is also used to describe situations when all the planets are on the same side of the Sun although they are not necessarily found along a straight line, such as on March 10, 1982.

  • Gnosticism: a syzygy is a divine active-passive, male-female pair of aeons , complementary to one another rather than oppositional; in their totality they comprise the divine realm of the Pleroma , and in themselves characterise aspects of the Gnostic (known) God . The term is most common in Valentinianism . In some gnostic schools, the counterpart to Christ was Sophia .

  • Mathematics: a syzygy is a relation between the generators of a module M. The set of all such relations is called the “first syzygy module of M”. A relation between generators of the first syzygy module is called a “second syzygy” of M, and the set of all such relations is called the “second syzygy module of M”. Continuing in this way, we get the n-th syzygy module of M by taking the set of all relations between generators of the (n-1)th syzygy module of M. If M is finitely generated over a polynomial ring over a field , this process terminates after a finite number of steps; i.e., eventually there will be no more syzygies (see Hilbert’s syzygy theorem ). The syzygy modules of M are not unique, for they depend on the choice of generators at each step.
  • Philosophy: The Russian theologian/philosopher Vladimir Solovyov (1853–1900) used the word “syzygy” to signify “unity-friendship-community,” used as either an adjective or a noun, meaning: a pair of connected or correlative things, or; a couple or pair of opposites.

  • Poetry: syzygy is the combination of two metrical feet into a single unit, similar to an elision. Consonantal or phonetic syzygy is also similar to the effect of alliteration , where one consonant is used repeatedly throughout a passage, but not necessarily at the beginning of each word.

  • Psychology: Carl Jung used the term “syzygy” to denote an archetypal pairing of contrasexual opposites, which symbolized the communication of the conscious and unconscious minds : the conjunction of two organisms without the loss of identity. Examples include Dieties of Life and Death or of Sun and Moon, which are frequently depicted as male and female, and having a mutually opposing and mutually dependent relationship.

  • Zoology: The association of two protozoa end-to-end or laterally for the purpose of asexual exchange of genetic material; the pairing of chromosomes in meiosis


French Cloud, Russian Transparency, Ancient Appirition

25 Feb

One idea, multiple languages: universal clumsy attempt to encapsulate a foggy concept in a word. While alive, I’m wide awake and taking notes. What I am chasing is unbeknownst to me, but the mystery repeats. All I know I have to guide me in within, and intuition is holding onto the pieces that resonate deeply with my sense of wonder and awe along the journey. Thus I sojourn, reveling in the unraveling and increasing clarity that comes with knowledge of self, knowledge of other, knowledge of one inter-connected everything and nothing.  One concept is cracked into many words around the world, each carry the denotative and connotative weight of a piece of the greater whole. Consider the linguistic fixation (as seen below) a way in which I can archive the shards I collect in hopes to create some syenocism and cohesion to ideas that swallow the universe, the universal, whole, yes hole:


  • Numinous (pronounced /nuːmɨnəs, njuːmɨnəs/) (from the Classical Latin numen) is an English adjective describing the power or presence of a divinity. The word was popularised in the early twentieth century by the German theologian Rudolf Otto in his influential book Das Heilige (1917; translated into English as The Idea of the Holy, 1923).

  • According to Otto the numinous experience has two aspects: mysterium tremendum, which is the tendency to invoke fear and trembling; and mysterium fascinans, the tendency to attract, fascinate and compel. The numinous experience also has a personal quality to it, in that the person feels to be in communion with a wholly other. The numinous experience can lead in different cases to belief in deities, the supernatural, the sacred, the holy, and the transcendent.


  • Similarly, unpleasant or frightening scenes or experiences can lead to a sense of an unseen presence of ghosts, evil spirits or a general sense of the presence of evil. Visions or hallucinations of god, gods, the devil or devils can also happen. Non-religious usage The idea is not necessarily a religious one: noted atheists Carl Sagan, Christopher Hitchens, Daniel Dennett, Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris have discussed the importance of separating the numinous from the supernatural.

  • Carlos Castaneda deals with a related concept in his books dealing with a particular Native American tradition of sorcery. According to the teacher Don Juan Matus (whose true existence has been called into question) there is just such an inconceivable dimension of human existence whose presence may be sensed but neither grasped by the senses or any rational framework. He refers to this as the Nagual. This Nagual (which seems to differ from a conventional anthropological understanding of the word) is a power that may be harnessed by a ‘man of knowledge’, the shaman or sorcerer who has undergone an arduous spiritual training. It may be viewed as “the intense feeling of unknowingly knowing that there is something which cannot be seen.” This “knowing” can “befall” or overcome a person at any time and in any place — in a cathedral; next to a silent stream; on a lonely road; early in the morning or in the face of a beautiful sunset.

  • In theological language, this fear is due to the in-compatibility between man’s egotism and the divine purity, between man’s self-aggravated separateness and the infinity of God. “Nostalgia for paradise’ was a term also used by Mircea Eliade to help bring understanding to the numinous. This idea was based on the theory that a person has a sort of longing for perfection or paradise, which creates a platform for experience of the numinous.

  • Mysterium tremendum et fascinans (“fearful and fascinating mystery”) is a Latin phrase which Rudolf Otto uses in The Idea of the Holy to name the awe-some (fascinating and full of awe) mystery that was the object common to all forms of religious experience. Mysterium tremendum is described in The Doors of Perception by Aldous Huxley in the following terms: The literature of religious experience abounds in references to the pains and terrors overwhelming those who have come, too suddenly, face to face with some manifestation of the mysterium tremendum.

  • Etymologically, numinous comes from the Latin word numen, which originally, literally meant “nodding”, but was associated with meanings of “command” or “divine majesty”. It’s earliest known use as meaning ‘divine majesty’ dates to the middle of the seventeenth century[1]. Rudolf Otto Otto’s use of the term as referring to a characteristic of religious experience was influential among intellectuals of the subsequent generation. For example, numinous as understood by Otto was a frequently quoted concept in the writings of Carl Jung and C. S. Lewis. The notion of the numinous and the holy (note: alternative spelling, “wholly”) other were also central to the religious studies of Mircea Eliade.

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